Laurie Johns Weblog

Bioneers after party, Solstice Grove

On Sunday night Ellen and I went to hang out with all the “beautiful” people in west marin. I danced all night, didn’t get home until 4:30 am and had the most fun at school on Monday.

sunkissed or heatstroked?

Dear friends, okay…I’m doing “yoga” again after about a month hiatus. Not doing yoga had to do, really, with wanting to be more integrated and not wanting it to be something I did, but rather some way I lived. I’ve been far from it in many ways. And because I couldn’t have it all, I opted for nothing and everyone started to worry. I, too, knew I was in danger of losing my practice altogether.  So, I’ve started with Bikram, which isn’t really even yoga as it lacks a spiritual dimension that I think is important, but they have an awesome introductory price. All of the teachers are clones of one another. They say terrible things like “pull on your heels and lock your knees creating a tremendous pain sensation in the backs of your legs.” What? One guy even said “Welcome to hell.” He may have only been referring to the heat, but somehow I think they must follow the “no pain no gain” school of thought. I signed up for a month. I suppose that is about how long it takes you to become addicted which, I can see, would happen. The heat, the sweating, the way the body gets more open each time, the urging of the instructor to raise the corners of your mouth. Making you believe that its okay to live in this non integrated way, having a job that requires a snail’s pace, getting through by treating yourself to too many breves and organic ice cream and at the end of the day, working it out in 110 degrees. I’m not sure any of it leads to health. When my month is over, I’m checking out the one month introductory special over at Yoga Mountain…but for now, I lift the corners of my mouth and lick the edges for any leftover hints of sweetness as I smile artificially to myself in the mirror.

So, although my life is feeling less integrated than even, I’ve started to collect ideas for art projects. Today I was enamored with almost everything I looked at–the patterns and colors. The simplicity of everyday objects. I’ve been making patterns with beads at school with Alex and now all the other 5 year old boys want to bead. They are doing some weaving in Kat and Jessica’s class that makes me fall in love with yarn. I collected leaves one morning with my students and did some leaf rubbings. They are really awesome and I’ve been noticing a lot of very interesting ironworks that I’d like to take rubbings of. The retaining wall just beyond Morton Lane has some really lovely painted areas that I documented last weekend. I’ll leave you with a view of that.

San Anselmo Wall (painting ideas)

Ps. I love Emily Gould and if you don’t know who she is, she is the former co-editor of Gawker.com. Emily had an affair with Joshua David Stein and put it in a blog anonymously called heartbreaksoup. She is really funny and clever and sometimes I spend way too much time reading her blog, but not as much as formerly because now so many entries are password protected. I wonder if Emily would be interested in my password protected story about cyber affairs?

In my Vermillion Bathroom

Remember the coldest part of last winter when temps were well below zero and I was running outside for 3 weeks while the 2xtm team was snow kiting across the state of North Dakota? This self portrait was taken then; I found it while perusing the disc in my camera. Thanks to Jena and Ryan, I am now fully equipped with all the graphic programs I had at home. I realize how, in many ways, I am recreating my life here, but at the same time wondering how much I can take back to South Dakota with me, not just in terms of material possessions, although that second mattress presents a problem that I contemplate periodically realizing that because of it, I can longer say that my entire life here fits in the back of my Subaru Outback, but also regarding valuable information and healthy progressive practices.

I miss my kids. I miss my bathtub. I miss Jack. I miss my house and my garden. I miss the people who know me best. There is just so much to learn here; I am now exploring the concept of sustainability to which, one could say, the winds of North and South Dakota belong.  Alas, life does make lyrical sense and my song is rich and complex. I love what people are doing here in California (even though they drive too many cars) in terms of sustainability, which, by the way, includes societal and economic aspects as well as environmental. It sure beats the kind of thinking that says yes to bringing tar sands down from Canada to extract 7 miles from my Vermillion home.

I have been looking at a program in Occidental, a residency–a place where I can learn and become connected and in turn share with others. Its called Occidental Arts and Ecology Center and it’s located about an hour north of here. They even have an Arts Program that explores the connections between art education and practice, and holistic, sustainable thinking.

I spent Sunday afternoon with Ellen and an organization called Next Generation brainstorming the future of this non-profit group. I met a bunch of really energetic and well meaning people…they seem to be everywhere reminding me to look forward, looking back. Can I, will I, make California my home?

Can you even tell what it is?

http://martyrose.wordpress.com/category/the-rockin-rok/

image courtesy Sweet William Images

I think the narrow must scare the hell out of me, because whenever specialization is called for, I go broad. For example, the shortest path to adopting the Montessori “teacher speak,” would be to listen for concrete examples, write them down and practice by imitation. Something in me resists this. I think about how uncomfortable my own two parents would feel in a Montessori school and I know that its methods are nothing like those I’ve absorbed through them…but these are methods I need to begin to adopt in order to fit in. So what is my plan for getting there? It is circuitous, it is a process and I begin, as usual, by going broad.

Broad…now that is a term for another type of consideration; I haven’t felt much like one lately, well, until I got a massage from a friend and an apology from a long lost other, but I digress.

I almost gave up altogether about 5 times and that was only the first two weeks. Finally I wrote some goals for my outdoor education/movement program and started to have fun. Fun to me is not the running around sort that children love to do…fun for me=a struggle and by writing those goals, I realized I had one. There exists great distance between the goals I wrote for my program and what I am, on a day to day basis, able to accomplish. But I need my lofty goals in order to proceed.

Commonweal Garden

I realized that central to my ideals is the promotion of  the development of life-long habits and attitudes to create a sustainable future. On Saturday, I drove out to the coast to the Commonweal Garden where Ellen facilitated the organization of an apple festival to celebrate the harvest of their heirloom apples.

location of Commonweal

The farm is being transformed into a permaculture model of human beings living in harmony with the earth. Lily is involved in a 9 month program through RDI called Regenerative Design and Nature Awareness. It is pretty amazing to me that I have situated myself into a household of people working toward furthering sustainable and regenerative practices. My first week at Montessori, I longed for the job I turned down at Emandal Farm in Willits California, but I believe I have figured out a way to make this job work for me and to help me accomplish some of my own goals. There is no real purpose in developing a mode of conversing, if, in the end, you have nothing more to say than “I’d like to invite you to keep the sand in the sandbox.”  I’d much rather invite you to build a meaningful relationship with the earth.

Its very hard to photograph our house because it is not accessible by the street. You might walk up about 25 steps…through a wooden gate…

I was feeling pretty good when I finally arrived at 104 Morton Lane…the place was a quick find and a quick decision…the job too seemed too ideal to believe. But, alas, jobs are jobs and this might be the most challenging one I’ve ever had. Challenging due to a lack of intellectual stimulation…sort of a reverse or insideout challenge.

The roomates are lovely.  We are so seldom home together, but the other night, I managed to get this photo before the batteries in my camera died.

Ellen, Lily, Samantha

I’m still adjusting to my new life here and the best thing I do is the hike to work and back–it takes a little over an hour, but I can cut it in half by biking…I just enjoy walking so much more.

This is the view atop Sleepy Hollow Trail.